Thoughts from Jeff: the first 3 months.

Hi all!

Well, it's been a year since my accident and a lot's happened since then, but right now I just want to talk about the first three months in the hospital. I don't remember any of the ride before my accident, it's completely blank. Looking at the pictures that were taken at the site and watching the video of Josh riding the same place, all I can come to is that I rode off of a 5 foot drop and had no idea it was there.

First is the fact that being a quadriplegic is no fun at all. I miss my old self every day. But, from the time of my accident until I was released from the hospital I was fortunate to have a lot of blessings and spiritual experiences on my own and with others. The first blessing was the fact that right after my accident  there was no pain, there was no fear, and there was no anxiety. I was very calm and not worried about anything.

I stayed that way for pretty much the whole 3 months that I was in the hospital. When I came to in the hospital after the helicopter ride it came to my mind that all I needed to do to get through this was to follow the example of Christ and treat others the way I would like to be treated.

I had the opportunity those two weeks in the hospital in Denver to have many missionary experiences with people that aren't members of the church. Also, with one who was a member of the church but hadn't been to church for many years. Those conversations brought me great joy. I was more concerned about those I was talking to than I was about my own situation. I hope those conversations helped them to  have a desire to look more into the church and more into Jesus Christ so that their lives may be more complete and full so that they can have more joy in life.

Also in Denver I had a very spiritual experience on my own. l had a dream and when I woke up I was in tears, crying with more joy than I ever had in my life. I wanted to tell Annette all about it, but by the time I waited so that no one else was around all I could remember was a visual. I forgot all that was said. I wish I could remember, but maybe it's a blessing that I don't.

In the hospital back at home, in that three months, I had several other missionary experiences and spiritual experiences. They were spread out over time, not all condensed close together like in Denver. I had two dreams that lasted pretty much the whole night. They were both about the same thing, pretty much a preview of what my life is going to be like and what I'm going to be able to accomplish, even as a quadriplegic.

While we were in the hospital, somehow, we kept missing the opportunity to take the sacrament. It had been about a whole month there before we finally had the opportunity to take the sacrament. It brought such joy and happiness, something that I didn't think was possible by just taking the sacrament.

One of the things that I should have done when I was in the hospital is dictate all of my experiences into the phone so that I could have them for future reference. But I didn't and now I just have to go off my memory. I had many very good nurses, assistants, and therapists when I was in the hospital. I'd like to thank all of them for all they did to help me progress so that I could start to get back to some sort of life at home. I enjoyed all the visits from everyone at the hospital and I'm grateful for the time they spent with me.

Thank you, Jeff

Day 331 to ONE YEAR, July 25-August 24

Day 331 to ONE YEAR, July 25-August 24

Our family believes in miracles. We've seen enough of them that we just can't deny their existence. Just the fact that our dad is still alive is a miracle. It's been a year since the accident. A year ago today, August 24th, to be exact.  

It was a day that changed our lives forever. Especially the lives of our dad Jeff, and our mom Annette. We aren't sure why this trial had to come our way and there isn't a day that goes by that we don't wish we could go back and change things. That being said, there isn't a day that goes by without sunshine in some shape or form either. 

Something we've come to rely on this past year is recognizing the tender mercies our Father in heaven sends our way. The little triumphs, the everyday blessings, these are the things that make each day worth living for our parents. That, and the knowledge that someday our dad WILL walk again. 

Every summer Annette takes the grandkids swimming. This year they went to Kearns Recreational Center and had a blast. A huge thanks to Isabel for volunteering to help out so our kid to “grown-up” ratio was safe. The kids sure love spending time with her!

Jeff and Annette were able to escape with friends to Bear Lake for a weekend and we are so grateful to Stan Dijon and his wife for inviting them and making it possible. Also, thanks to Brad Frost, Dan DeVries, and their wives for being such great friends and helping our mom and dad while they were there. Jeff said, “We had so much fun, we are glad we were invited. We enjoyed sitting on the porch and visiting in the breeze.”

While in Bear Lake Jeff was able to go on a bike ride. He said, “We went biking, but it was a horrible experience. It was too hot with the sun on me and I couldn’t keep going. My muscles were giving out. The temperature was great, but the sun is like an energy magnet and just sucks the energy right out of me. By the time we turned around we got a little bit of cloud cover, but I was already on my way back and wasted.”

After they got back from Bear Lake Jeff had to visit the dentist to get his permanent retainer finally removed. The impact of his crash had pushed things out of place in his mouth. After eating something several months ago a wire of the retainer started bothering him and poking his mouth. It was a relief to get it out. 

They decided last minute to stop into Costa Vida for a salad only to find that Ryan and Julee were there on a lunch date. They were able to spend a few minutes with them before Ryan and Julee had to go back to work. It was especially nice because they hadn’t been able to get together for a couple of weeks and Ryan’s family was leaving on a trip for another ten days, so it was a definite blessing.

Brandi’s family was able to go camping at Rock Creek Ranch. It was a little colder than they would have liked, but they enjoyed their time with each other and Mother Nature. It was Aspen’s first time camping and she did great. Kaisy and Sierra had a blast and got really dirty!

Ryan’s family went to Warrenton, Oregon to spend time with Julee’s dad and to attend her brother’s wedding. They explored the coast from Long Beach, Washington down to Tillamook, Oregon while they were there. It was Tylee’s first visit to the ocean and Talon’s first time being old enough to remember. They did well on the long drive and can’t wait to go back.

Jeff and Annette took their turn for the time share in Park City. Blake and Cherie were able to stay with them along with Brandi and the girls. Kortny was also able to come on Thursday and stay through the weekend to play. Zach wasn’t able to join them because he had to work during that week and Ryan’s family was in Oregon. Jeff said, “It was nice spending time up there. It rained a lot, but it needed to rain more because it’s so dry.” 

Brandi says it took a lot of convincing to get Jeff to go to the outlets with them and they ended up convincing him to come. They got him and the girls an ice cream that made it worth while. 

We have some of the most exciting news that we’ve had in a while. Jeff was accepted back to Neuroworx on a grant that they offered him! He goes three times a week now and will continue to go as long as they have a slot available. His hope is that he will continue with them until he is able to do complete transfers without assistance. 

One of his visits lasts a total of four hours. He does an hour of physical therapy, an hour of an exercise class, an hour of yoga, and an hour on a really cool bicycle. The bicycle is special because they put twelve electrodes on his legs and send shocks through them in the proper sequence to force his muscles to pedal all by themselves. While the technology is fascinating and the results are incredible, Jeff finds it to be a very long and boring hour. He says, “It only allows my legs to pedal in circles, there is no muscle behind it to push any weight at all.”

The other two days of therapy he is only there for two hours. He does an hour of physical therapy and an hour of the exercise class again. His long day will soon drop to three hours because they will not be offering the yoga anymore. We are so grateful to them for this opportunity for our dad. It’s hard to imagine how he could have any improvement with the limited amount of therapy the insurance allows. This has renewed our hope for progress to come!

Neuroworx has been such an incredible asset for our dad. Not just with physical therapy, but also with the activities and opportunities they provide. A brand new (not quite finished) disability camp that was donated by Joe Sorenson opened in Oakley and thanks to Neuroworx Jeff was able to be a part of the first group to experience what they have to offer there. 

Blake took Jeff to the Mustang and Ford show in Park City first where they spent a couple of hours browsing.

Then they went to the camp. It has a large covered pavilion that can close with glass garage doors if the weather is bad. There’s also three yurts, a large lawn area where they were playing games, a deep sand volleyball court, and horseshoe pits. Jeff said, “None of it had been used before we got there.”  

While Jeff was there he was able to try out a track wheelchair. He said it’s like having a big snow cat track on the wheelchair. “I tried one and can say I’ll never do it again,” he said. “It was too slow and rough. The only good thing about it was that when the ground had no bumps I could stand up straight. If there were any bumps I’d feel like I was going to fall over because it makes you lean so far.” 

He also said he was able to watch people play volleyball, eat good food, and enjoyed being there. The only real downfall to the experience was the start of a pressure sore to Jeff's left elbow where it was rubbing on the armrest of the track wheelchair. He couldn't feel the pain so he didn't know it was a problem. We hope it heals quickly and doesn't continue to be a problem. 

We want to wish Ryan a happy birthday! We are grateful for the opportunity to celebrate him and hope he knows how grateful we are for all he does to help out. On August 21 he turned the big 3-0.

Yesterday, the 23rd, Jeff was able to experience water skiing for the disabled on a private lake in Tooele County with Neuroworx. Annette was worried and nervous at first, but Jeff was confident in their ability to keep him safe. 

Brandi, Zach, and Aspen went with Jeff and Annette. Brandi said, "Zach drove which was a good thing!! Dad was being a side seat driver and he got pissed at a farmer going slow and when Zach finally passed the guy dad threw up his arm and hand to flip him off as we passed and then said,'I can't even give him the bird cause my fingers don't work!!' It was hilarious!"

Jeff said he had a great time and really enjoyed water skiing. Annette said it was a really fun day and she wished all the kids could have been there with them. It was put on by a couple named Rick and Margo Lybbert. 

They dug out and made the lake, bought all the equipment, and set it all up. It was something that they had been wanting to do and Neuroworx finally helped make it happen the way they had hoped it would. They are planning on doing it three or so times a year from now on. You can learn more at: 

http://www.lastchancelakes.com/ada.php

We are so grateful for their generosity and kindness and for giving our dad this opportunity. It means so much to him to be able to do things like he used to and feel that exhilaration. 

"It took me a while to figure out that the boat had to go faster to help me turn more and go side to side. The guy kept slowing down because he was scared I was going to fall over on the wakes, but I wasn't. It was a lot of fun, but it takes a lot of people. They were awesome. The second boat was there in case you tip over because you'd just sink. They have to keep you above the water getting in and getting out. It was a lot more fun than the tank thing! It's about an hour southwest of Salt Lake in the middle of nowhere."

You can watch the video and see pictures at:

https://youtu.be/wiKZzV4ub-k

Brandi said, "I didn't get a chance to meet or talk with Rick (he was driving the boat) but we talked quite a bit with his wife and she is super super nice! I told Cherie that it was so awesome seeing dad get an adrenaline rush again, it made me cry I was so happy for him! I'm so so grateful that he was able to participate!! It was a good way to celebrate his one year anniversary... to be happy and having fun."

We are all so grateful. Our dad's every day life can be monotonous and sometimes depressing, so adventures like this are worth more than words can express. Thank you Rick and Margo!

Body image has always been very important to our dad. Having lost the control he used to have has been a really difficult experience for him. Even with exercising so much more he isn’t able to burn the amount of calories he used to. He has decided to try and compensate by adjusting his diet. It mostly consists of fish, chicken, squash, other vegetables, and salads. He has cut out most carbs and all sugars, even fruit. Keep in mind his body isn’t able to feel full, the hunger is always there.

Jeff says, “My diet sucks. I am down to one meal of about 800 calories on the days I am not active. On the days I am active I will have two meals that total about 1200 calories. And I’m still not losing weight. It’s very frustrating!” 

We are hoping to have the opportunity to discuss his diet, exercise plan, caloric needs, and other nutritional needs with a Nutritionist at some point. With some help we are confident our dad will be able to follow a diet plan he enjoys with the proper amount of calories, protein, and other nutrients that will allow for continued healing and weight loss to occur. 

More good news, every pressure sore Jeff had has healed except the one on his hip. He has been so diligent about doing his pressure releasing exercises and it has paid off. The wound on his hip is still being treated with the wound vac that gets changed every four days. They are seeing improvement and we are so happy!

Looking back at the slow progress with this particular wound, they have tried so many things to try and help it heal. They tried every single ointment and cream they could think of with several different pressure relieving dressings. Three times they placed skin grafts and all three times they failed. Jeff got a bill in the mail for those three grafts that was almost $10,000.00. Thankfully, Jeff had saved the proof that the insurance pre-approved the procedures or he would have been responsible for the cost because the insurance was trying to deny the claims. It’s been several months of frustration, but we are finally seeing results and for that we are so grateful!

Jeff’s suprapubic catheter is doing well and hasn’t had any further problems with getting clogged. It has started to leak a little bit, but as long as they put something over it to absorb the moisture it doesn’t cause any problems. While some days it can feel like a burden, most days we are able to see what a blessing it has been with convenience and a decrease in infections since it was placed.

In our last update we forgot to mention the video of Jeff riding his hand cycle with the Tour of Utah passing by in the background. The link is: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6EiQn6i8PQ&feature=em-subs_digest

We cannot express our gratitude for the money that has been donated to Jeff's gofundme account. It has put a dent in the overwhelming world of medical bills that will forever be accumulating now. We'd really like to reach our goal of $20,000 to help with this next year's deductible. We ask that you tell your friends and ask them to pass the word. Any amount helps and gets us that much closer to our goal.

The financial burden of Jeff's condition starts with the medical bills, but it also includes the handicapped accessible vehicles, missed income, and further adaptations that are required to help him live a more normal life. Then add to that every day bills that they are still responsible for... It's overwhelming on the best of days. If you know anyone who can help get the word out there, please pass it along. We want to decrease that burden as much as possible for our parents.

We want to recognize a few unsung heroes of this story. Or at least bring attention to their devoted service that hasn't been regularly written about. Jay and Peggy, Jeff's brothers and sisters, Clifton and Joyce, cousins, and friends... We could not have made it this far without you and we love you so much!

It's been a little emotional leading up to this one year mark. In many ways it doesn't feel as if a whole year has passed already. In other ways it feels like an eternity since that day. We are so grateful to all of you who have followed along with us on this journey. You have given us strength when we prayed for it, service when we couldn't ask, and love when we needed it most. You have cried with us and then laughed with us through those very same tears. We will be forever grateful. 

Over the next week or so we will be looking back to those first days. Visiting those moments when we felt despair and then hope. We'd like to share them with you. Jeff has also started dictating to his phone to tell you about the first few months after the accident. We will be posting his thoughts soon. 

There is no doubt that the Lord has blessed us these passed twelve months. Progress seems slow at times, but then we receive gentle reminders to be patient. We have a lot to be thankful for and the future is bright for our dad. We will continue posting about his progress and keeping what has become our family blog updated. 

We encourage you to keep asking questions and letting us know what you think and feel, we'd love to hear from you. While this blog has been very therapeutic for our family, we hope others have been able to glean a little strength or encouragement from it also. 

From the whole Page clan: THANK YOU!

Day 296 to 330, June 20- July 24

Day 296 to 330, June 20- July 24

Life is hard on the best of days. On the bad days it can be downright painful. This is the reality our parents are living. A lot of good things happened over the past month, but there was also struggle. 

We, as a family, started cleaning out the basement of our parent's house. Years of memories were brought to the surface, a craft room with several unfinished projects was disturbed, and a whole lot of winter gear that was hardly used was sorted. And it hurt. 

We had planned on eventually going through everything in the basement to get it better organized before the accident happened. Circumstance forced us to finally act. The plan is to finish the basement. If rented, it will give our parents some much needed income. 

We spent hours sorting through things. Toys from childhood, beautiful handmade holiday decorations, items of sentimental value, workout equipment, tools, winter gear... We laughed and we cried. The hardest thing was watching our parents give up their old way of life. Jeff's skis and exercise equipment and Annette's projects that she knows she will never be able to finish... Why does it have to be this way?

We had a garbage pile, a D.I. pile, and a storage pile. As they each grew we were surprised to see how much had accumulated over the last 30+ years of our parent's lives. A whole way of life now gone. This new chapter brings so many changes. We hope in time there will be more positives than negatives.

We knew we wouldn't be able to accomplish as much with the grandkids around. We want to give a huge thanks to Joyce and Courtney for helping with the babies. They kept them entertained, fed, and happy as we worked. 

We are also so thankful to Joe and Kristen Green for taking the 4 older grandkids for the entire day. They had a blast and weren't ready to leave even after 9 hours!

While we didn't finish going through everything, we put a large dent in the project and we are grateful for all we were able to accomplish. It was nice afterward to sit down to a meal together.

The next weekend Ryan's family went camping and invited everyone to come to their campsite for dinner one night. Jeff and Annette might not be able to camp anymore, but at least they could enjoy the experience for an evening. Zach volunteered to cook his famous cheesy potatoes that turned out amazing. 

Jeff spent most of the time holding our sweet baby Aspen and swatting away bugs. (Unfortunately, the campsite was right next to a bog that housed far too many mosquitos.) Before the accident Jeff didn't really hold babies when they were so small. He preferred to wait until they could interact with him. 

Brandi said, "Even with the few positive things, it's still not worth it." We all agree, but we also know how important it is to find those little things to be grateful for and make them the focus. 

You never know what the Lord has in store for you, and this was certainly unexpected. Jaxon was sitting at the picnic table with his feet underneath him. When he tried to get out of the bench his feet became tangled and he fell backwards. His head slammed into the cement ring around the fire pit. That is a sound none of us will soon forget. 

A small mercy was that the entire family was there to help with Talon and Tylee while Ryan and Julee took Jaxon down the canyon to get his head stapled back together.

Jaxon was a trooper and didn't even cry as they fixed him up. Nine staples for our 9 year old. 

They made it back to camp just in time for S'mores. We are so grateful he wasn't hurt more seriously and we were pleasantly surprised that he did not sustain a concussion. 

Every 4th of July we go to Uncle Leroy's for a BBQ. It's great seeing his side of the family and spending time together. We are so grateful to them for hosting it each year and want them to know how much we appreciate all they do!

It's a gathering that the kids especially look forward to weeks in advance. 

We hope you all had a fun and safe Independence Day! We are so blessed to be in a country where we can be free and live our lives how we wish to live them. Our wonderful country is a gift from God and we pray our leaders will be guided and directed as they were back when our Founding Fathers first wrote the Declaration of Independence. 

Little Miss Aliyah has had it rough. She has never been the best sleeper and has been on antibiotics for ear infections way too many times in her short life. She was finally seen by a specialist (Dr. Meads, the same doctor who did Tylee's tubes) and it was determined that she also needed tubes in her ears. We weren't surprised. 

Our sweet girl did well during the surgery, but struggled after the anesthesia. She was not a happy camper. 

After two good naps she was finally back to her usual smiling self. Her tympanic membranes were also stretched from the amount of pressure behind them and it will take time for them to get back to normal. We hope she will show improvement in her hearing and will start to sleep better at night!

Little Aspen had a very special day and we were so grateful to spend it together. She was blessed by her dad, Zach. 

Here is what Brandi had to say about it:

"It was a wonderful day and I'm so thankful to have a husband who holds the priesthood and is worthy to give little Aspen such a special blessing. I was also grateful that my dad got to participate in the blessing. I know it's hard for him and he doesn't like to make things harder on everyone. He told me a few days before the blessing that it wouldn't work. I told him, yes it would! He also doesn't like "making a scene" and having others "stare at him." To make matters worse, our ward's handicapped accessible bench is on the very front row of the chapel! So probably for the first time ever a good majority of us sat in the two front rows and there was no hiding from anyone up there! I was just grateful that he came and went outside his comfort zone to participate. I know he did it because he loves his family. What made the day extra special though was all of the family that came to support us. We are so very blessed to have such close, loving, and supportive families. All of Aspen's Grandparents were there and 4 of her great grandparents. It's not very often that children get to meet their great grandparents and if they do those great grandparents are usually in nursing homes and ill. But, not Aspen's great grandparents. She is blessed to have them all in pretty darn good health! I just love having close family and am so thankful for everyone who traveled from near and far to support us and Aspen on her very special day!"

Jaxon was a trooper when Julee took the staples out of his head. His hair was embedded in the scabs and bits were pulled out with the staples, but he handled it really well. It looks great!

Lamb Days is another July family tradition. It celebrates the founding of Fountain Green, a little town just southeast of Nephi. Jay and Peggy restored a house there and we all take advantage of their hospitality for three days each year. Jeff wasn't sure if he wanted to go this year, but with enough coaxing he finally agreed. A huge thanks to Blake and Cherie for all their hard work helping to make it possible. 

Grandpa Jay cooking our favorite curly French fries!

The kids loved the parade. It's always so much fun!

There were 15 of the 16 Page great grandchildren there this year!

We sure love our babies!

We were able to talk Jeff into riding on the side by side! He struggled to enjoy it because of how loud it was, but it ran smooth enough it didn't make his nerves freak out. 

Going to Lamb Days was actually pretty rough on Jeff and Annette overall. As you all know, Jeff is a "goer." He always has been. It was difficult for him to sit still with nothing to occupy his mind. He ended up inside the main house a couple of times just so he could watch tv. 

Another difficulty for Jeff and Annette was their 35th wedding anniversary. They used to miss part of Lamb Days every year so they could go celebrate together. This year it wasn't really even mentioned. Maybe in time it won't be so painful. 

We love our mom and dad so very much and want them to know how grateful we are to have them as our parents. They have given us the greatest example of long suffering, service, and faith. We have learned so much about life through their continued perseverance. If their marriage can withstand the storms they've been through, we know we can make it through anything also if we rely on our Heavenly Father like they do.

We would also like to wish Peggy a very happy birthday and we loved being able to spend that time with her. We love you Grandma Geggy!

The kids sure enjoyed going on rides and having so much time to play. 

After a particularly dusty ride everyone who went came back covered in dirt. Ryan used the air compressor to blow a lot of it off of everyone. Here is the funniest "after" picture:

We also had a family get-together on the 24th of July, Pioneer Day here in Utah. Our reasons were completely unrelated though. We were able to spend time with Tia and Dan who we haven't seen in a very long time. It was great to be able to see them and be together as a family!

We want to give a huge thanks to Max and Stan for taking Jeff mountain biking and spending so much time with him. It has really made a difference in his quality of life. It provides him with both physical and mental therapies and we can not thank them enough for their kindness and service. 

The every day things in Jeff's life are changing again. Some for good, others not so much. 

There has been a new development with Jeff's sores. We are excited for this change because we hope it will lead to better results than past treatments. A wound vac was placed over his hip sore. He will be going to the wound clinic twice this coming week and we are anxious for some good news. The picture below is the device. It's small enough to fit in his pocket. 

Saying that this next change is bad news is really an understatement. We are so frustrated over it, but at this point in time there is nothing we can do about it. Jeff is no longer able to go to Neuroworx because the maximum number of visits allowed for the year have been used. 

No more physical therapy! 

If he had a joint replacement it would be understandable. But to become paralyzed and have such a limited number of therapy sessions? Who made these rules anyway? Because of this change we will either have to raise more money to pay cash for his physical therapy, or pray for a grant of some sort. Either way, it may be a while before he is able to return. 

Please pray with us that we might be directed in what to do next. If you are able to donate to Jeff's gofundme account we would really appreciate anything you could give. Pass the word around for us, please. 

It's not easy to ask for help, especially the financial kind. Unfortunately, Jeff has been placed in a position of complete dependence and there is only so much we can do on our own. We have been so blessed with friends and family who have gone above and beyond for us and we will be forever grateful. 

To everyone who has touched our lives, eased our burdens, and prayed on our behalf, thank you. While those two little words never seem to be quite enough, we mean then from the bottom of our hearts!