Day 24 - September 16, 2015

Jeff reports that today was a "pretty good day" but also "painful, exhausting, and couldn't stay awake through part of it." It's a gift that he is still able to call it good and we are grateful for his endless positivity!

He says that he woke up early, about 6:30am, to get essential things done to get ready for the day and then had a tiny bit of breakfast and his pills.

Soon after he crashed again, like usual, but was actually able to sleep because his morning routine was already completed and therapy wasn't until later in the morning.

He took a pain pill before therapy and worked extra hard. While he was still drowsy, he was able to stay awake and participate more than usual and feels really good about his progress with balancing and strengthening so far. After his morning workouts he took another pain pill and then a break.

The nurse today helped to teach Annette how to empty Jeff's bladder! While she is very critical of her new skills and says she needs more practice, we are proud of her for taking the initiative to even try it. Like everything else she's recently learned how to do she'll master the technique soon enough.

Jay and Peggy came to visit before the afternoon therapy sessions. Jeff said it was really good to see them. They have been an amazing source of support, encouragement, love, financial aid, information, and research since day one and our family is so blessed by their presence in our lives. To say we love them and are grateful for all they do would be an understatement.

Jeff took it easy for the afternoon during therapy since he worked so hard earlier and was hurting. He didn't want to take more pain meds because they contribute to his drowsiness.

Because he didn't have any other visitors today he got to work on his computer more. He's putting the last video recorded ride he did before the accident to music and will be uploading it to his YouTube page. We will be posting a link to it on this blog when it's available.

He says that it's been a lot better working with his trackball mouse since Ryan adjusted it and he's getting used to it. There are still things he can't do on his own yet that Annette isn't able to help him with. Brandi will be tasked with helping him with them when she spends the day with him tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a very big day for Jeff! He's taking a field trip to his home with his occupational therapists, Annette, Jay, and Brandi. They will be discussing what needs to be done to remodel it so when he returns home he'll be able to live as independently as possible.

A huge shout out to everyone who has taken the time to send us information about different resources available for therapy, adaptive devices/gadgets, and any other information we've needed. We appreciate everyone who follows this blog and that you care enough to provide us with those resources when you think it may be helpful. It is!

When they say it takes a village to raise a child, what they mean is it takes a great network of people who care and have different ideas, knowledge, and experience working together for a common goal. Our goal is to see our dad home with as much independence and the best quality of life possible. With all the little details to take care of we are grateful for everyone's input and help.

Please feel free to leave comments on the blog itself. Many are left on Facebook which Jeff doesn't have access to, so he doesn't get to read them all. He especially needs to have that feedback and loves it when people post comments. It's not realistic to think everyone can come visit him, but even a short note of encouragement goes a long way!

Day 23 - September 15, 2015

Today was just as busy as every other day. Jeff woke up feeling okay, despite a fever, and then ate breakfast with Annette's help. Then, like every other day, he crashed and was unable to stay awake for very long for several hours.

This phenomenon is the most frustrating thing for Jeff right now. He wants to be able to do his therapy to the best of his ability and to use his time efficiently when the therapists are with him. Yet, he literally can't keep his eyes open at times. Annette said they were able to get him in the shower and he slept the entire time, not even remembering it had happened later.

Jeff thinks it is mostly likely a combination of how his body reacts to the food he eats and his blood pressure issues. He's going to try to do things a little differently each day to see if he can prevent or even just reduce this problem. We are praying that he is able to find a routine with eating, medications, and therapy that will allow him to do the things he desires to do and needs to do to get better.

They switched out his bed today to a demo bed that is supposed to help reduce pressure. It's made of gel and has special controls to tilt it side to side to aid in turning and repositioning.

So far he has found it to be comfortable, but his bedside table doesn't work with it. Because of the wheels and other parts underneath, when trying to put the table in a position where he can use it, the table is either right in his face or too far away to be helpful. They are working on finding a different table to try.

Jeff now has an electric wheelchair! The controls are very touchy, but he's doing really well figuring out how to use them. When asked why they don't turn the speed down to make it less sensitive he said he couldn't stand going that slow down the halls and wants it to be faster.

There was a lot of rain and a beautiful view with rainbows out Jeff's window yesterday and today. Annette kept taking pictures with her phone to show him the view because he can't turn his head to see for himself. He'll be excited to be rid of the bulky neck brace when it's time. Here are a few of the pictures from yesterday:

 

The insurance has a very backward view on what they'll cover as far as therapy and useful tools go. For instance they won't cover a shower chair that can sit in the shower or over the toilet because they say patients can use a brief (grown-up diaper), be changed in bed, and get bed baths instead. Anything more than that is not seen as necessary. It will cost $1,400 just for a shower chair that will help improve quality of life, allow increased dignity, make personal hygiene much easier, and encourage independence. I guess that makes it worth the money, but why can't the insurance see it that way?

Jeff's legs have been swelling and an ultrasound was completed to rule out blood clots. They were thankfully clear! He continues on blood thinners, compression socks, ace wraps to further compress his legs, and sequential compression devices, or SCD's (the leg squeezers that promote blood flow) when in bed. These precautions are important to keep fluid from building up in his legs (edema) and blood flowing properly so the risk of blood clots decreases.

In the afternoon Jeff started to feel much better and he no longer had a fever. That is his best time of day. Ryan and his family came to visit and more adjustments were made to Jeff's trackball mouse to make it easier for him to use with his laptop. The visit was cut shorter than Ryan and Julee would have liked by a tremendous meltdown from 4 year old Talon. He fell asleep once they started driving away. The effort he put into that tantrum would knock anyone out!

Just for anyone who wanted to know, Elder Craig Cardon is the name of the Quorum of the Twelve Area Representative who visited Saturday and helped to give Jeff a blessing. Brian and Julie Oldham helped remind us of his name.

Brian and Julie are dear friends to Jeff and Annette and came to visit them tonight. They said it was strange to go to their recent Stake Conference (where Elder Cardon spoke) and not see Jeff and Annette sitting in the front. Jeff's response was, "I always go early because I can't stand to sit in the back."

The amount of support the Oldham's have given our family during this time is overwhelming. They have been a true blessing to us in our time of need. Julie said that the Seminary class she teaches has prayed for Jeff every day since she told them about the accident. We feel those prayers and are so grateful to them for remembering our dad!

Jeff's cousin Troy and uncle Leroy also came to visit tonight. They drove a long way to show their support and help lift his spirits! We are so grateful for the time they took to make the trip up here. It's great to see Jeff come alive when talking to people. No matter who it is he can find a common interest.

Everyone who visits or even works with our dad comments about how amazing his attitude is in light of his situation. It would be so easy in his shoes to become angry, bitter, and a victim. He has made the choice to count his blessings instead and to see what else this life has in store for him. He knows his life was spared for a purpose and he wants to make the best of this second chance, no matter the obstacles that he is facing.

When asked tonight how he manages to stay so positive he responded, "I realized that if I treat others the way I want to be treated and I am an example of Jesus Christ, then everything will be okay."

We are so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives. It has been a saving grace for our dad and our family.

A lot of us are still struggling with what has happened and are finding it difficult to cope. We want everyone to know that it's okay to be sad. What has happened to our dad's body is overwhelmingly sad and seeing him struggle is heartbreaking. Grief is expected and we are all still mourning what he's lost and questioning how much he'll regain.

We encourage you to visit him and talk to him about it. You will be amazed at his strength and will in turn be strengthened by his determination and testimony. We have been lifted by him so much in these past few weeks you might begin to wonder who is actually helping who through this trial. He is a true disciple of Christ on this earth through his example and faith.

Where is the Nurse when I need them?

The plight of patients everywhere... where is the nurse when I need them?

It has become normal practice for hospitals and other healthcare facilities to cut costs by decreasing the number of employees. This in turn increases the patient load. In some places nurses now have to do the work they did before, plus what a tech, or CNA, used to do.

The patients under their care now get less time devoted to them. Sometimes that means the nurse comes and goes in a rush and is unable to form a relationship and much needed trust. Sometimes it means the nurse misses a lunch or bathroom break. And more often than not it means certain things get missed; like turning a patient every two hours, adequate oral care, or a proper and thorough bedbath.

What does this mean for the patient?

It means they are left in their room praying that the pain meds they have been waiting for will be coming soon. It means that those who can't move themselves are left to wonder if the missed turns will lead to a bed sore. It means that they are at an increased risk for hospital acquired infections and injury. It means their lives may be at risk.

The nurse working with them may be the best nurse in the world, but with an unreasonable workload things will most certainly fall through the cracks.

And the question that crosses every patient's mind as they wait for help to get to the bathroom while praying it won't be too late by the time someone comes is, "Who benefits from this?" Because it most certainly isn't the patient in need or the overworked nurse.

So who does benefit? Does someone get a new vacation home in Hawaii with the money saved? A new car that costs almost as much as the average American's house?

It's hard not to think such things.

We appreciate all the hard work put into helping our dad. We know at times the staff is stretched thin and it can be difficult to meet all the needs of a patient who can do so little for himself at this time.

We are so blessed to have our mom with him as often as she is able. She has already learned so much about what is required to care for him and doesn't hesitate to do those things when it's necessary. Too often she is the one to switch his boots and reposition him.

Unfortunately she doesn't have the knowledge and required experience to help him empty his bladder when it's time. Sometimes the delay to get that done is a long one. That has the potential to lead to complications we'd rather not think about.

Our plea as a family is that our dad/grandpa continues to improve and avoids complications like pneumonia, UTI's, and bed sores. We pray that the efforts being put forth by the staff and family who visit will be adequate.

But what about those people who don't have a superwife/mom like Annette to help?

These frustrations have come to light during this trial, and while we do our best not to complain we would really like to know why. What is so important that patient care is put second to saving money? Who is there to advocate for the patients, family members, and even the nursing staff?

What can our society do about these problems in our healthcare system?

 

Note: Jeff expressed his concern about the above issue to Julee & Brandi and wanted to make sure that his concerns were heard and posted on the Blog.  Thanks goes to Julee for beautifully expressing Jeff's thoughts & concerns.  As a family we are very grateful for the Nurses and hope that somehow we can get the message across that the patient's care and Nurses who aren't overworked should come FIRST, rather than trying to cut corners and save money.

Memories/Letters from the "Bike Guys"

A few of Jeff's friends have written favorite memories or recounted experiences that they've enjoyed with him. When Ryan read them out loud to him there was not a dry eye in the room. We are so grateful to those who took the time to share their thoughts and upon Jeff's request we are posting them to this blog for everyone to read. We look forward to having more sent our way. If you'd like to participate please contact Ryan. A huge thanks to Ron Brown, Brent Lloyd, and Sam Hull for being the first to share! 

From Ron Brown: 
Jeff is one of those guys that if you have only met him once and even for a short period of time, you probably have a good memory with him. As we run into other riders on our bikes and see them more than two or three times, Jeff knows their name and probably knows what they do for work and what their church calling is. Even those that we ride past or that ride past us might get a comment from Jeff about their bike or how they are riding. In fact, most of the people that we ride with are a result of Jeff talking and getting to know them out on the trail (Max, Bryant, Mikey, Lance, Doug, Russ and the Utah County crew). I also know that he stays connected with those that he meets at church, on his trips and on his cruises. 

As for memories, I can not count all the great memories which include the Lake Powell trips where we would play volley ball in the sun until we were burnt to a crisp on the outside and sore to the bone on the inside. The biking trips to St. George, Moab, Fruita and Flagstaff are all great memories. And of course, I can't forget the cruise that Caprise and I were included on as temporary members of the Page family. 

As great as these trips were, it isn't what I consider the greatest memory with Jeff. I think the times that I enjoy the most are the early morning rides where we would have great discussions on all sorts of topics including our families, our kids, our jobs, the economy, politics, our friends and of course church topics. Through this time spent talking with him, I knew of his concern for me and my family as well as the concern and the well being of our friends. I also know that my knowledge of the gospel has been increased and my testimony strengthened as we discussed our beliefs. The drives to and from some of our riding spots (American Fork and Mueller Park) are also times of great memory. 

I know that regardless of the level of recovery that Jeff is able to achieve, we will continue to have great conversations and create many more great memories. Jeff's life will never be the same, but I believe it will continue to be filled with excitement and adventure and I hope to be one of those that is lucky enough to be apart of them. 

I lost an older brother early in my life and have very vague memories of him. When I have friends like Jeff, I like to think that my brother would have been a little like him. 

I love Jeff for who he was, who he is, and who he will be.

From Brent Lloyd: 
Thanks for this opportunity to express my feelings for such a good friend. The news of the accident hit me pretty hard. I’ve known Jeff for nearly twenty-five years; starting out as a cycling college, then growing into a very good friendship. I’ve never known another person quite like Jeff. He includes everyone in his life and you always know exactly where he stands. Whether it’s putting together a group ride, sharing a vacation destination or his faith in God, you can expect an invitation to join him.

Riding with Jeff is an experience, always looking for a new trail or fun place to bike. We’ve had a great time exploring new trails. Back in the day, they would, more often than not, turn into a bike-a-hike or we’d be biking Corner Canyon road in the middle of winter when there was more ice and snow than bare ground. We were riding hiking trails that had never seen a two wheeler before. At the end of every ride Jeff can tell you about every bump and turn on the mountain. He’s the only person I know that can carry on a conversation while peddling up the most difficult trails. When I’m able to keep up, it’s all I can do to grunt when I think the conversation might need a reply. When I can’t keep up, he’s always just over the next hill or around the next corner waiting; then he tells me all the things I should be doing to climb better or descend faster.

Jeff has an amazing ability to learn. He has always been a storehouse of knowledge. Whether it’s the latest bicycles, cars, or technology, he seems to be a wealth of information and more than willing to share it.

With Jeff, it’s all about efficiency; there’s no time to waste in his itinerary. Everything he does has a reason. This can be difficult when planning a vacation; don’t expect to get much rest and relaxation. And when it comes to his faith in God, there’s no time to waste there either. He’s on a mission to convert everyone that will listen. On a sleepless night years ago, he shared his testimony with me in an email. I’m sure that he had been working on me all along, but that motivated me to stop making excuses and make God a priority in my life. Not long after that, I was sealed to my childhood sweetheart; together forever!

So, you see, Jeff really is amazing! Your Friend, Brent 

From Sam Hull:
Hi Jeff,

The best part of my life back in the 90s when I lived in Riverton was the camaraderie I felt with you and the others in our small bike community. The experiences and adventures we had are some of the best of my life. After I moved away that became even clearer to me. But what became even more apparent was how lucky I am to have you as a friend. You more than any of my other friends would find time to reach out to give me a call and stay connected. You are an amazing man Jeff and one of the most sincere and helpful individuals I know.

What a challenge it is you now face. Myself along with so many others that care about you are by your side Jeff. You'll never be alone. I know what you are made of and I have complete confidence in you to overcome the obstacles before you. There might be times when you don't know if you have the strength to get over the tall walls in front of you. But those walls will be what strengthens and refines you to becoming your very best. God has given you the amazing potential to return to Him one day, clean and full of the life experiences that bring out qualities resembling many of his own God-like strengths. This event will bring them out and help to perfect you.

I pray for you Jeff and I hope you can keep this eternal perspective. People don't seek out adversity on their own, but God is in control and knows what we can handle and what will bring out our fullest potential and hands us the trials that will bring out strengths and qualities we never knew existed within us. I don't mean to go on like this is some conference talk or something, but I got a good glimpse of God pushing me to become more than I was with my trials. So many great men out there, like yourself, have tremendous obstacles put before them which in turn make them exceptional in the end. Keep up the faith Jeff and know that while it is not easy, every tough experience we have in life is all worth it in the end. God is in control, He's more than just aware of you, and He knows you are capable of getting through and growing beyond this tough time. He needs you to because you still have a lot of lives to bless. You have definitely blessed and enriched mine over the years and for that I am grateful. Take care my friend -one day at a time. With God and those who love and care for you at your side, I know things will work out and you are going to be okay.

Your friend, Sam