Words From Julee

Day 4 - Part One

The hardest part of waking up each day is the moment we realize this is still real and it's not the bad dream it seems. The next hardest part is the fact that life still has to move on. We still have to get up, brush our teeth, get dressed and try to look semi presentable, eat food, get kids to school, clean house, go to work, and every other normal part of life that now just feels unimportant and mundane.

Life doesn't stop for anything, even if it's an earth shattering tragedy that makes each day feel surreal and like we're moving in slow motion. The world doesn't slow down for things like this even if you wish it would just for a little more time to process everything. 

 And yet, if we've learned anything at all from this trial it's that life is precious. All of the little things we take for granted each and every day could be taken away from us in the blink of an eye. So while it's still overly painful to accept that this really is happening and make the effort to roll out of bed each morning, it's also a blessing to be reminded of how every little thing we do is special and a gift from God.  

Today we are trying to focus on the little things. Mostly because our brains aren't really able to comprehend much more than that, but also because it's the little things that make the biggest impact in our lives. The smiles and laughter of our children, the comfort of a daily routine, the shining sun, the family and friends who are so willing to reach out to us in love and concern... These are the things that we, as a family, are focusing on today.

It's much too easy to find discouragement and despair. It's much too easy to ask the question, "Why?" It's much more difficult to remember that the things that happen in our lives are for a purpose and that the Lord's plan for us was created with infinite wisdom. So while it's impossible for us to understand why this has happened to our dad, instead of focusing on the pain and suffering of his situation and the unimaginable grief we are all experiencing, we are choosing to focus on the little things that make life still worth living. 

The Lord has blessed us already in this trial. This could have happened when Jeff was alone. Or on a trail further away from medical help. To have Jay and Peggy so close is nothing less than a miracle in itself. To have Josh there and a way for Annette to get to the hospital... The fact that our dad's life was spared is something that is very close to our hearts. We aren't ready to move on in this life without him. 

Today is hard. Today has been full of tears. Tears of pain and of gratitude. Today is hard, but the little things make getting through it possible. We feel the love and prayers being sent our way. We feel the comfort of a loving Father in heaven who knows how difficult this is. We feel the love of our brother and Savior Jesus Christ who has felt the anguish, confusion, fear, and sadness we are all experiencing.
 

Today is hard, but at least we have hope for a tomorrow with our father and grandfather.That is a blessing that makes everything else pale in comparison. 

 Updates on Jeff's condition to follow when more is learned. Thank you for your love and support!