Day 62, Saturday October 24

Day 62, Saturday October 24

Today marks the two month anniversary of Jeff's accident. These past two months have been full of emotion as Jeff has made incredible leaps and bounds of progress and has also had extremely difficult days with incredible pain and frustration. To say it's been a roller coaster would be an understatement. 

Unfortunately the past several days have been some of the most difficult. Today started with the "live" parts of his body (from his hairline and down) feeling just as tingly and painful as the "dead" parts. 

This new development led to x-rays and an MRI. The people transferring him onto the tables were really rough with him and it was a trial to say the least. The MRI was especially difficult as anyone who has had one can relate. 

While the doctor didn't come in to discuss the results, the nurse was nice enough to read the radiologist's  report to them. It showed that the surgical area is still doing okay, but that there is some swelling and a pocket of fluid pushing on a portion of his spine. 

This is causing the nerves to be pinched slightly which is causing much of his discomfort. This news is not what we had hoped to hear, but it's nice to have some answers at least. 

Randy and Tiffany came to visit tonight. Tiffany made an observation and put into words something many of us have felt about this last week. 

"I'm struggling with how to say this. It was a good visit. We know it's been a hard week for him. Before now it was great to visit with him and see his amazing attitude as he felt things were progressing well. But, at the same time, it was hard for me because I couldn't understand how he could be so positive about something that was so hard and yet I was struggling to remain positive in my little trials."   

"Visiting with him tonight made me realize that it's great to try your hardest to be positive during hard times, but it's also okay to still allow yourself to be a little frustrated and question why things are the way they are. Although, it's very apparent with Jeff that he will still continue on, do his best, and keep on trying!"

"It was also wonderful to be able to chat with Annette again! We had them both to ourselves, which may be selfish thinking, but was nice!"

While we've learned a lot about looking for silver linings and trusting in the Lord's plan for us from our dad's example during this trial, we've also learned that it's okay to have those down days. Being frustrated and questioning the way things are does not mean you lack faith. It means you are a human who is going through a tough time. 

Giving up is the only way to fail in this life. Taking things day by day can be an act of faith at times. Some day we may understand why this has happened, but until then we will press forward with the understanding that everything happens for a purpose. 

Alma 36:3 says, "I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day."